I'm Not Okay
by Hitokiri-Kitsune
Summary: [CoWritten With XeroKitty, SasuNaru] Sasuke, crazy. Naruto, even crazier. Throw Kyuubi, pills, and the Sharingan into the mix, and find out these two aren't really okay. [Rated for future content]
1. Chapter 1

**I'm Not Okay**

A joint fic by

Hitokiri-Kitsune and XeroKitty

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**Chapter 1**

"Welcome back, Sasuke-san."

I never did replied to her, but she always greeted me with a smile and a handshake. Like we were old friends. Maybe it was because I had failed to mention that she didn't help, wouldn't help, _couldn't_ help... I never said anything during these sessions, unless she asked a question. It felt like she was slowly dissecting me, **Let's see what makes Sasuke tick, what's wrong with you, we can fix it.** They couldn't fix it, whatever _it_ was. But I let her think she was doing something right and usually did what was expected of me anyway.

"How have you been?"

"Fine."

I lean back in the large, cushy chair in front of her. She's giving me that look again, **Aww, Sasuke, I'm sorry you're fucked up. We can fix you** I concentrate on the little nameplate sitting on her desk. "Have you been taking your medicine?" she asks slowly, as though I have trouble understanding. "Yes," I answer, resenting the way she's treating me like a child. I'm seventeen. Not four. She continues on, asking the usual questions. "Have you been sleeping?" _No._ "Yes." I watch her scribble something on her clipboard. "Had any interesting dreams?" _If blood is interesting. _"No." I wonder what she's writing.

Stretching, she gives me an even stare. It might be paranoia, but I swear she knows I was lying. Pursing her lips, she slips her pen behind her ear. "Anything you want to talk about?" She's waiting for me to confess, but I have no intention of doing so. What I do is none of her business. I did have to give her one thing― she had a lot of patience. To see someone like me every day, and get nothing out of it... it must be frustrating.

I decide I don't care.

"How are you feeling?"

"Medicated."

Unsatisfied with my answer, she leans forward a bit, as though to intimidate me. It's not working. I resist the urge to extend my middle finger and tell her to bite me. **It's okay Sasuke. I understand. **No, she doesn't understand. So I cross my arms and stare back. Sighing, she sits back again, lacing her fingers together and looking at me with that disgustingly sympathetic look. **Oh Sasuke, I'm so sorry. So very sorry.**I glare. She writes. It seems like a stupid routine, but it's not my choice to be here.

Never was my choice.

So she sits with that irritated look on her face, and I don't say anything. I'm lost in my own thoughts anyway― I don't need her to figure out what's wrong with me. I already know. It's never been a question of _what_, it's _what do I do_. Besides, who's to say that they can make it all go away? They haven't been doing so well so far. **What makes Sasuke tick. **The only thing they've given me is enough pills to _kill myself with_. And they don't think I know that. Because I'm Sasuke, too crazy to understand, too selfish to care.

"You're quiet."

"So are you."

She's tired of my sarcasm; I'm tired of her questions. So she looks at the clock and says it's okay for me to leave, and reminds me to take my medicine, and I'm out of there. I notice the tacky paintings on the wall, these people have no taste. The secretary watches me leave, and opens her mouth to say something. I don't stop, and she stays quiet. **Oh, he must be crazy, he's leaving here. Let's not talk to the crazy person.** I get on the elevator and wait to reach the parking lot. There's music playing too loudly for my liking, and the bell makes my head throb. But I get out of the lobby and into the parking lot just fine.

Like always.

And I drive down the same road, back up to the same empty apartment. I'm not surprised to hear complete silence― I like it that way. I even close the door gently, so as not to disturb the quiet. Almost immediately, I go into the bathroom and open the medicine cabinet. I stare at all the little orange bottles, **take once a day**, each neatly labeled and half empty. Normally, I stand here and wonder how it would feel to take all of them. Instead, I opt for taking something for my headache and walk back out. Her annoying voice is still ringing in my head.** How are you feeling? Have you been sleeping? Are you feeling normal today?**

I consider the pills again.

Maybe I really am crazy, I think. The doctors are right; **Sasuke is too screwed up, too stuck up to get help. **But then I could be fine, this could all be normal. I laugh at myself and sit on the couch. Oh yes, I'm completely insane. No one is here to tell me what's normal; they're leaving me to guess. I don't like guessing. It's a waste of time. Then I find that I'm thinking about when I was twelve, and free to do as I pleased. When people didn't act like I might suddenly start screaming in gibberish and rip my own arm off. **How are you feeling?**

Someone's knocking.

I think about answering it. I wonder who it is. In the end, I do answer the door, and find someone I haven't seen in a while. "Sasuke?" he mumbles, blinking up at me. _I never did like you. You were too bright. You were too loud._ "That's me." Naruto grins at me in that painfully cheerful way of his. I think it's forced. His arms twitch at his sides. He looks down at the ground, and I step aside to let him in. "You're still a bastard," he says, with a bit of fondness. I close the door and follow him. "What brings you here?" I ask him, and he turns to look at me. Something passes over his face so fast I don't catch it. **Have you been sleeping?**

I wonder if he's crazy too.

...Probably.

He's thinking of what to say. "Did you forget?" He raises an eyebrow and laughs lightly. "I wanted to see you, Smart Ass." I have to smirk a bit at that― he still has that sense of humor. That's when I notice he has something tucked safely under his arm. "What's that?" I ask, curious. Blinking, he follows my line of vision. His smile grows. "Oh! Now I remember," he says, laughing a bit. **See Sasuke, a normal person. That's how you laugh and smile.** **Learn.** He hands me what I assume is a photo album. "I found this in storage. I figured you'd want to look at it," he adds, sitting down on the couch. I join him and stare at the book for a minute. Like I shouldn't trust it, like I shouldn't trust Naruto. **Why aren't you normal?**

I open it.

The first thing I see is a faded picture of Team Seven. Younger versions of people I no longer know stare back at me. I notice that Naruto is surprisingly quiet. Resisting the urge to look at him, I turn the worn pages. A twelve-year-old Sakura grins, with a younger me looking less than happy. I finally look at Naruto. He seems lost in thought― he's got a nostalgic look about him, and his smile falters. I consider asking what's wrong, but fail to do so. He stares at the book in my hands, almost like he's lost. **It's your fault. You cause people to loose their normality.** I wait for him to say something, but he doesn't.

I'm almost worried.

"Sasuke," he says finally. He looks up ever so slowly, with this _something_ in his eyes. _Just as blue as I remember. But they're faded._ _Like the pictures in the book._ And I do what I'm best at― I do nothing. "Sasuke," he says again, like he's tired. He's trying to say something, and I don't understand, and I hate this. Looking at me, like he's lost. **Help me.** And I want to tell him that I can't help him, but he's just looking at me. **Help me, PLEASE.** My head is throbbing again, in time with my heartbeat. He exhales― was he holding his breath? ― And bites his lower lip. _You've faded._ Then he suddenly leans forward a bit, staring. Just as quickly he leans back and looks away.

I don't understand.

I don't try to.

Soon he's running a hand through his hair, lighter than I recall. It resembles milk and honey, no longer like sunshine. It's not bright. I look again at the pictures, and think how much he looks the same, but not the same. He struggles with what he wants to say, and I don't try to help. **You can't help.** "What's on your mind?" I hear myself ask. He looks almost relieved, but it flickers away. "I wish I knew," he replies honestly, and I resent him a little. I hate his honesty, because honesty doesn't matter. Doesn't he see that? **He's so normal. Why can't you be normal?** "Where have you been?" he asks me. I think before I answer him.

"Six feet under."

Sarcasm.

**

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**End Chapter One**

I wish I knew where this was going. XD Done. It's all up to you Kitty-chan!


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm Not Okay**

A Joint Fic By

Hitokiri-Kitsune and XeroKitty

**Kitty's Notes: **Yay, joint fic! Kyuubi-chan's muse seduced _my_ muse, and this is the result! Total insanity! XP Like she said, though, I don't know where the hell this story is going! I'm just letting it write itself out!

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**Chapter 2**

He really didn't know what possessed him that morning to go up into the attic. Not that you could really call it that, anyway. It was an extension of his bedroom closet roof that gave it an extra five feet: perfect for storing things that he never wanted to see again. Like the damn photo album. How long had it been up there, anyway? Six years? Seven? Maybe even eight; who knew? He wasn't keeping count anymore. But when he opened the faded green book and looked down on the picture of his old team, something inside him broke. Naruto had spent half the morning flipping through the old album's pages, spotting the familiar faces of his friends… His friends. Ha.

The last time he had seen Kakashi was after he had been given his dismissal papers from the head office. Iruka too. All the older man could say was a mumbled "I'm sorry, Naruto" as they practically threw him out of the Hokage's place. Kiba had been there to taunt him a little longer then that, but eventually he and Shikamaru and even Neji had just kind of…drifted. Hinata had tried for so long to get close to Naruto, but now she was with Kiba and off as well. He could still remember the last thing she had said: "I'm sorry…" They were always sorry.

He didn't want anybody to feel _sorry _for him, he wanted them to _pay a-fucking-ttention. _That was his biggest problem, he thought: he craved attention. It seems that the only way he could get that through their heads was by acting crazy. _Ha. Who knew I was never acting?_ Sakura had lost touch with him ever since Sasuke lost touch with them both, and Naruto had just let them go. Who was he to stop these people from walking out of his life? Besides, he was used to being alone.

_**But, you're never alone.**_

And there she was. It never fucking failed. _**I'm here with you, little Naruto. **Go away, you crazy bitch. **Am I really the crazy one? **Get out of my fucking head! **No, no. This is MY fucking head. I'm here to stay. **_Oh goodie. He figured throwing himself out of the window wouldn't do much; the Kyuubi's healing powers were astounding. And the bitch always made him land on his feet. She really didn't want his body damaged in any way; Naruto couldn't even begin to guess why. And right now, thinking about the demon sealed away inside his body was giving him a massive headache. He had to distract himself somehow, before _that_ happened again. He shivered. He didn't want _that_ to happen again.

He looked down at the open album. And blinked. He had forgotten about this picture. Slipping the photo from under the thin plastic protector, Naruto held it up and looked at it for a long time. It was a photograph Kakashi had taken, of all people, and it was of the blond and his old partner. They had just finished a huge round of training, Naruto remembered, and had sat down to rest under the huge oak by the river. With the heat of the late afternoon and the weariness from over-exertion, the two boys had fallen asleep, Naruto with his head leaning against Sasuke's shoulder, and the other boy's head resting atop his.

Kakashi had given it to him later on, and he had put it in here because at one point in his life, he actually enjoyed looking at all these pictures that awakened feelings inside of him. But he hadn't pulled this album out since the day he had gone crazy and Tsunande and her council had seen fit to ban him from the shinobi practices "for the overall safety of the citizens". So, now that Naruto had nothing to do and all the time in the world on his hands, and Kyuubi basically had free reign.

_**Poor, sad, crazy Naruto.**_

He dropped the photo of Sasuke and himself on the bedside table and rose, throwing the book shut. He paced the length of his bedroom, both of his hands clenching in his blond locks, which were suddenly soaked with sweat. He had to get out. He had to go somewhere. His eyes caught the picture again.

And that's how he found himself standing in front of Uchiha Sasuke's house.

"Where have you been?" he asked, watching the other man's face carefully for the faintest hint of something. _How does he react to all these pictures?_

"Six feet under," came the monotone reply.

"Your sarcasm has gotten better," Naruto says with a grin, even though he's frowning on the inside. _You feel dead too? You, the Uchiha-asshole who has money and power and popularity, feel exactly like me? **I'm the only one who understands how you feel; he couldn't possibly know. **_**He's _not crazy._** Naruto waits for him to speak again, but he knows Sasuke was never one for words. So he just sits quietly beside his old teammate and watches him turn the yellowed pages and stares blankly down at the pictures of a younger, happier him and a boy who looks exactly like the man next to him and a pink haired girl who was lost to time and circumstance.

Others make an appearance too: Kiba and his stupid little dog crouching together with Shikamaru and Shino leaning against him and smiling (something that was extremely rare in its own right); a blushing Hinata with her freakish long-haired cousin, Neji; the tall, blond, overconfident Ino and her chubby teammate, Choji. Iruka, Kakashi, Tsunande… His blood was quietly boiling, but he kept it in surprisingly well. _**Aren't you angry with them?** Of course I am! **They took away your dream. **Not that it matters.** It was a stupid dream, wasn't it? A child's simple and innocent ambition. **I'm not a child… **Prove it. You want to see them bleed for what they've done to you. Admit it. ADMIT IT!**_

" Naruto!"

The blond shook his head slightly and glanced over at the person next to him. Sasuke was giving him a curious look.

"Sorry, did you say something?" he smiled nervously. "I was just…remembering stuff."

Sasuke lifted an eyebrow slightly: "I said 'what happened to this picture'?"

"Huh? What picture?" Naruto glanced down. The page had a large white rectangle on it. He winced ever so slightly: _Shit. _"I dunno," he shrugged. "Must have lost it."

"Hn," was the other's response. He suddenly closed the book and put it to one side. "Want something to drink?"

_He's not kicking me out yet? _"Oh, um, yeah sure."

"Is green tea alright? It's all I've got. I have to go to the store later."

"Yeah, that's fine. Hey, Sasuke, where's the bathroom?"

"Down the hall, first door on the right."

Naruto stood and stretched as Sasuke disappeared into the kitchen. He placed one hand on his forehead and walked down the hallway, pushing open the first right-hand door and fumbling with his other hand for the light switch. Harsh yellow-orange light spilled into the small bathroom and he squinted at his reflection in the mirror. _Man, I look like crap. _

He turned on the cold water tap and stuck both hands under it, catching the water in his cupped palms and throwing it onto his face. He did this four times before he felt himself beginning to cool down. _Asprin would be good right about now…_He pulled open the medicine cabinet and was startled to find an entire row of orange pill bottles, all lined up neatly with their white labels showing off their bold, black-letter warnings: **Take once a day.**

"You'd better not be throwing up in my bathroom, _dobe._" He closed the cabinet in a hurry and switched off the light, coming out of the bathroom and seeing Sasuke placing two cups and a black kettle on the table. The raven-haired man lifted them both and handed one to the blond. "Here, this might make you feel better."

"I-I'm not sick," Naruto stammered.

Sasuke gave him a flat stare: "Could have fooled me."

"No, no, I'm not…" his voice faded. His mind flashed to the row of bottles. "You…you're looking kind of pale yourself. Are you the one who's sick?" And Sasuke's eyes grow duller than normal and his knuckles abruptly whiten on the black tea cup but he speaks in his usual voice.

"I'm not sick," he says.

And the cup shatters in his hand.

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**End Chapter 2**

Hitokiri: Yay for Kitteh! -dances- Now...um...I go write teh next chapter! -scuttles off-


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm Not Okay**

A Joint-Fic By Hitokiri-Kitsune and XeroKitty

**A/N:** Finally, an update! I got really depressed, and oddly inspired...o-O So, here you go. Sorry it's so short― my muse quit halfway through it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed― THIS IS FOR YOU! x3 –kisses-

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**.Chapter 3.**

"_Fuck_."

That's all that he can say, staring at his bleeding hand with some form of fascination. "Fuck," Naruto echoes, raising both eyebrows in surprise. Plucking the black slivers gently from his palm, Sasuke gazes at the other. **It's not his fault. It's yours. Stop being stupid.** Silently, he nods a bit, gliding out of the room as quickly as he can manage. And then he's back in the bathroom, staring into the mirror, seeing all the little orange bottles, and their neat labels, **take once a day**.

It's a little complicated.

Smiling grimly, the Uchiha digs slowly through the bottom cabinets, unfocused. **Don't do that. It's not normal.** Biting his lower lip roughly, he finally retrieves the first aid kit, setting it aside. He can't stop looking. The color reminds him of so many things― everything from the eyes that watched him to the red staining what was once a white fan. Shaking his head, he rinses away the blood, watching the pink water slowly flow down the drain.

He likes the color.

Again he thinks of the little pills nestled together, and how easy it would be to take them. A sense of power seeps into him, much like the crimson that soaks his palm. He can down one too many, make it look like an accident. **Do the world a favor. TAKE ONCE A DAY.** Naruto would probably find him. Would he cry? Cry for poor, crazy, dead Sasuke? He considers this― It's so _easy_. This could be the cure. Clenching his teeth, he shakes his head. Not today.

There is still unfinished business.

Wrapping up his palm, he puts the medicinal supplies away and stalks back into the kitchen, finding Naruto studying him. He says nothing, sitting down on the opposite side. He regards the fox boy calmly, as though nothing had happened. Those little bottles, suicide notes, and the pretty color are put aside now. _Not today._ The skin beneath the bandages stings, and his hand twitches slightly. **Help me.** Naruto is watching him intensely, waiting for something. Sasuke looks up and discovers that same look, the one with the _something _he can never identify.

Just watching him. Not saying a single word. He's changed so much, the Uchiha thinks. Naruto is supposed to be loud, funny, bright. The only thing he is now is lost, **he's like you**. _We're not the same. Don't look to me. I can't help you._ The fox boy sips at his tea, and then sets it aside, giving the dark-haired boy a saddened look. "Not one for conversation, huh?" he jokes softly, stomach in knots. Tension builds in the little space between them, **you can taste it, can't you**, almost tangible.

Sasuke coughs lightly.

"What do you mean?"

He knows exactly what he means. Naruto seems to know it too, because he remains completely still, waiting for an answer. For anything that his old friend can give him. When Sasuke does nothing, he buries his head in his hands. A sign of weakness― of defeat. "Sasuke," he tries again, "What happened to you?" Back at square one. He glances over at the open photo album, where the clean white square stands stark against the sickly yellow of age. Swallowing hard, he looks back at the other.

"You wanted to know about that picture?"

This is a last resort.

Sasuke can tell, and Naruto knows he's not winning...whatever this is. Lifting his head a bit, he stares at Sasuke with dead eyes. "I have it." The Uchiha watches him fidget, **you're enjoying this. You're sick.** He _is _enjoying it, too much in fact. It's as if he blames the fox boy for all this, and is finally getting revenge. _For what? What has he done to you?_ The blonde continues, ignoring the silence that follows. "Do you remember that day, when we fell asleep? Wasn't it nice?" he asks softly. _Your hands are trembling._ **Sadist. Sadist. Sadist.**

Sasuke feels sick.

Naruto feels empty.

Between the two of them, there isn't much left for improvement. Feeling a little remorseful, the Uchiha sighs. "Yeah, and Kakashi took a picture," he offers, though not much else. The vulpine boy brightens just a little, and nods. "Yeah." Standing, he gives his old friend a final look, as though daring Sasuke to stop him. He doesn't. **Sadist. Sadist. Sadist. **Mumbling quick thanks for the tea, he leaves the silence of the apartment, accepting that he cannot win this. Not this time. Watching him leave, Sasuke turns, gazing across the room. The photo album sat atop the coffee table.

And it looks like a lifeline.

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**END!**

Chapter 3 done! WHOOO! x3 GO MEH! Luffles all! –dances and runs away-

**-Hitokiri-Kitsune**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm Not Okay**

A Joint Fic By

Hitokiri-Kitsune and XeroKitty

**_Bold/Italic_** –Kyuubi Speech

_Italic _–Naruto's Thoughts

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**.Chapter 4.  
**

I left the house twice as depressed as I was entering it. My face burned as our strained words rushed through my head like an overwhelming flood: _"You wanted to know about that picture…?" "Do you remember that day, when we fell asleep…?" "Yeah, and Kakashi took a picture…"_

"Stupid," I cursed myself under my breath. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Of course Sasuke wouldn't have cared about the picture, about what it actually meant to me. He didn't know, and that was fine by me. What had possessed me to try and tell him, anyway? _Because I wanted him to know. _I didn't want another secret locked away deep inside, eating at me quietly, slowly… I didn't need it turning into fuel for Kyuubi's fire.

_**My dear, sweet Naruto, whatever do you mean? **_

_Bitch. Fucking bitch. _

**_Now, now. That's no way to talk to a friend._ **

_You're not my friend; I don't have friends._

**_Of course you don't, _**the demon's voice cooed venomously, **_you made sure of that yourself, remember?_**

I stomped my foot and came to a stop in the street. I stomped hard, like I was trying to rid myself of the voice in my head. But I knew it was impossible to get rid of her—Kyuubi was always there, like a possessed shadow, like an overbearing mother that I never had. A _demented_, over-bearing mother. I suddenly felt eyes on me; the puzzled stares of the Konoha villagers.

Eyes that had laughed and scorned and hated, always, for as long as I can remember. But after that time…the eyes held traces of fear as well. Fear that I would go crazy and kill them too. And pity, so much pity: "poor sad, crazy Naruto".

**_We don't need them_**, the voice came again. **_It's just us._**

_Fuck you. You ruined my life._

_**I ruined your life? If I recall correctly, you did that yourself; you craved their blood. You longed for it, and in the end, it was all over you.**_

_That's not true!_

_**Oh, Naruto…**_

"Shut up," I growled aloud and started walking again using slow, measured steps. "Don't start with me. Don't. Start." But the images were coming again, like they did in my sleep every night. My walk quickened as the pictures forced their way into my vision; I started sprinting but they kept up with me, flashing snippets of sound and color; screams and blood.

And for some reason, as if to bring everything back to me all in one burst, the picture of Sasuke and I under that tree enlarged itself in my mind until it became the background for everything: it stayed there as all the other images of shocked, pain-filled faces came back to me. I heard myself scream and suddenly I was in a full-out run, my head lowering and my arms and legs pumping hard, my body leaning forward to cut through the air, angled as if I could take off from the ground at any second.

_**Run as fast as you can, little Naruto…**_

"FUCK YOU!" I ran harder, faster still.

_**You'll never escape it. The blood's too thick.**_

"Watch me," I panted. "I'll run forever if I have to!"

_**You can never run from me; you and I are—**_

"STOP IT!" I was in the forest now, weaving in and out through the trees as the wind howled in my ears. But it couldn't drown out the cold voice coming from the back of my mind. "SHUT UP! I AM NOT! I AM NOT!"

_**As long as that seal is there, Naruto, I'll always be here.**_

I stopped at the lake's edge. The late afternoon sun burned down on its surface, glittering like wildfire. I gasped for breath; the Kyuubi was silent, waiting for me to answer. And in that silence, I remembered…

_There were twelve of them: seven from the fire country and five from the sand—elite shinobi. In Konoha, they were known as the Anbu. They had gathered in the neutral forests of the valley of the Hidden Leaf, right by this lake, right where I happened to be meditating, over this lake. This lake with such a painful memory attached to it. _Sasuke… _I was trying to get the Kyuubi Kitsune under control; I didn't want it to take me over again, like it had in the water country, like it did that day—the day Sasuke left. _

_I didn't want the demon to have a hold on me anymore, so, I went deep into a trance, deep inside myself, trying to find that sealed door that I saw in my nightmares each night. I knew _she_ was lurking beyond them, the Kyuubi, waiting for me. And as I fell deeper into myself, as I drew closer to unraveling the seal that kept her contained, the shinobi had honed in to the powerful chakra and had me flanked on twelve different sides. _

_I managed to push open the large double doors and come face to face with my inner demon: her aura licked out of the crack like flames, her narrow eyes glared at me, her luxurious nine tails swishing out behind her. She was there, in my mind, in all her evil and malice and breath-taking glory, and I stepped inside the doors, into the dark room, to confront her._

_That's when they had attacked. Kyuubi took over instantly—self-preservation: she shoved me into the room and lunged out, took over my body fully and I could only look on helplessly from eyes that were mine but no longer belonged to me. I watched her sonic roar shake all the shurinkan, kunai, and wire off track and the weapons missed my body, her host. _

_She zipped forward with lightning-fast reflex, drew back a paw—my hand—and swiped at the shinobi before her. The death scream rattled my now-sensitive ears but the noise itself made me hot with pleasure. She was enjoying this. Another attack, another casualty. And she hunted them all down like dogs and slaughtered every last one of them. _

_And when I finally regained control and snapped out of my trance, I was levitating above a lake that had turned pink with fresh-spilled blood, the same dark red substance coating my entire body like some sickening fur. I felt her tear the doors off their hinges, curl up in the darkness; free to go in and out as she pleased. Free to talk. And that was the first time I had heard her voice—**Hello, little Naruto.**_

No one would believe me; the spell's scar was still etched on my stomach, disproving the idea that the Kyuubi's seal had finally broken. It was like she had planned this all along, and I was helpless but to go with it. She and I were one. Because of that scar. That mark.

I had been touching it, though I wasn't aware I was doing so, lost in my memories of the aftermath: they took my weapons, they took my headband, they took my life. Now I looked down at it, stark against my pale skin—the reddish-brown color of dried blood.

"Your fault…" I whispered to the lake and it lapped gently against the dirt shore as if to respond. "It's your fault they all think I'm crazy. I'm not."

_**Poor Naruto. Don't run from it, embrace it. You opened to door.**_

"…then I'll just have to close it again." My eyes lifted to the familiar surroundings, the Valley of the End, and they looked for tell-tale markings of battles past. Even though rain and time had washed it all away, I could faintly smell the blood that had seeped into the earth. But that wasn't the fight I wanted.

I looked harder, searching for the faint scrapes on the rock walls and deadened patches of grass where the chi attacks had burned the ability to regenerate the lush green that carpeted the banks. I went to one wall, one faded statue carved into its face, leaping effortlessly up to the hollow ledge about a fourth of the way up. I reached up; it was here.

_I should have let him kill me._

_**What are you doing?**_

The kunai was blunt and rusted with time, but it still gleamed maliciously as I yanked it from the rock. Sasuke's kunai. I inspected it carefully. Dull. More pain. Oh well.

_Sasuke… Why didn't you finish me off? I didn't want your pity, you asshole._

**_You will put that down now._** She sounded worried. My fingers twitched on the handle, clenching tighter.

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't help you then, and I couldn't help you now._

_**I will not allow you to—**_

"FUCK. YOU! IT'S. MY. BODY!" I screamed and rammed the kunai deep into the center of the symbol on my stomach. I gagged for a second, then steeled my resolve and pulled the blade out slowly, watching my blood stream out like the waterfall beside me. I chuckled weakly, but then I felt Kyuubi's chakra starting to close the wound and I began to stab into myself again and again, screaming incoherently for the most part. "MY BODY! MINE! GET OUT! GET OUT _GET OUT_ **_GET OUT_**!"

_Stab, stab, stab._

I was getting dizzy. And tired, so I just left it in there. I left Sasuke's kunai deep inside my body and for the first time in a long time, I was at peace. I was happy the voice had silenced; I wondered if that picture would ever be discovered in my room; I was sad that I couldn't hear Sasuke's voice, or see him one last time.

"Naruto!" _A dying wish…_ I grinned to myself as I fell backwards. I hit the rock and just lay there. It didn't hurt; I didn't feel anything at all. Blackness settled over half of my vision—_So what they say is true…_ And then it turned into Sasuke's hair. And the dark sky turned light, _The light at the end of the tunnel?_, but that phased into Sasuke's face. _A dying wish…_

"Sa…suke…"

And I felt my eyes close of their own violation. I felt my breathing slowing down. I felt warm, strong arms around me. And then I felt nothing at all.

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.End Chapter 4.

**Hitokiri-Kitsune**: My chapter up next! x3 Thanks to everyone who reviewed. You're so lovely. –skips off to write-


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